» Listings for 2013

1. I'm dreaming of a white Christmas But without too much Bing.

   Posted on 1:18pm Sunday 1st Dec 2013

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   Hey there people! It's Christmas!!!! well Almost. Busy sesaon this year. Busiest ever I'm glad to say. Saw a headline on the front of the sun paper the other day as I went into a garage to pay my weekly mortgage for diesel: "Cold snap" or some such thing. basically they're predicting a white Chistmas (Remember that saying in the 90's: "it must be true - I read it in the Sun"). Yay! Oh hang on...I've got to get to all those gigs....Well I still recall the feeling of coming back from a gig in Chichester on Christmas Eve a few years ago with the A27 (UK South coast east to west Main route) covered in snow at 2am in the morning and the wonderful quietness of the journey, as I padded over it and home for Christmas day. I don't think I've felt that festive since i was knee high to a JLS doll. I recall looking out of the window of the hotel and saying to the punters: "Hey its snowing!"and seeing them run like school children over to the window! Ha ha! Still makes me smile.....

   Well, I've just finished downloading the last songs before the big season starts. So many processes to get your songs sounding perfect. Normalising the volume to a set level. Analysing the Beats per minute, key signiture, Adding a second file format for my other DJ software, Putting it on a flash drive. Loading it up onto the two main console drives, re-analysing the key for console search, and finally posting the updated website song catalogue. And you think this job is easy? Pah! So much back office work, you wouldn't believe it! Sometimes I think it helps to be single in this job, as there's so much time spent behind a desk of some sort.

    

   Some interesting Songs out at the moment. My tip for the number one at Christmas? well this one has to be in with a chance, all be it adult themed (what isnt these days?)

   Different, Soulful, Slow, romantic. You never know.

   Ok, enjoy your company party and remember: if you get taken out on a stretcher; don't get carried away!

    

   Have a good one!

2. Bognor illuminations 2013

   Posted on 8:43pm Thursday 26th Sep 2013

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   Hi all. Well after going away to do voluntary work late last summer (never to be repeated) the resultant lack of bookings combined with a real all round lull in everyone's bookings this year has meant that this summer has been the quietest ever!

   Having several weekends off has been quite a novelty and has helped me slightly with my house hunting, not to mention my love life!

   Now I know how most of you folks out there manage to make it all work. Still, I and others have been going too long between gigs and this can lead to forgetting at least some of what songs you've got. Not the most optimum state to be in!

   So with this in mind I need all of you to flood me with bookings now since according to the media, we are now in a recovery and hoarding your cash won't help the situation improve. Come on now, you know you want to do your bit!

   Good news is, it enabled me to comfortably do the illuminations this year for charity in Bognor Regis. I've filmed this event before, but this I have to admit is the first time I've DJ'd on a moving stage ie: a forty foot trailor. It wasn't too bad, but could have been better say about three years ago or more. Why? well three years or more ago HGV's didn't have so many automatic gear boxes. As a qualified HGV and sometimes temp driver myself I can inform you that usually when driving one of these trucks you press the pedal to the floor and around 2.5 seconds later you get a response. Usually a lurch forward unless you have exceptional experience of the vehicles charactoristics, which the driver on the night alas didn't. Not to take anything away from him, he did his best, but he wasn't the regular driver so there cosequently were a fair number of lurches as we went through the town centre. This made for an interesting gig I have to say since there is nothing quite like trying to mix tracks when your decks are a moving target in more ways than the usual circular motion that every turntable-ist is familiar with. I had to give up pretty quickly and use the laptop on autopilot. A shame as it's not quite so visual, but when you're trying to hang onto your PA system (which I found surprisingly hard to strap down due to the shape of it in relation to the position of the trailor anchor points) and stop it from doing the highland fling....well compromises must be made! I got Dee to film it on my HD phone but forgot to tell her that if she held it perpendicular to the target we'd get sideways video. My fault entirely. So I had limited footage to edit after the event. On the up side, those of you who have a short attention span will love it! Have a look here:

   However, that being said, we won first prize! after winning at last month's pub quiz with my new girlfriend and team, I've got to say this summer's not been without it's high points.

   Also as I type this, my site is being updated, so expect a slightly snazzier look soon. I built this site entirely myself and I'll be sad to see it go, but of course you don't move with the times by staying still so I've got a man in now who's already proved his worth in other areas of website promotion. It feels good to hand some of this work over after all these years of doing it myself, since it can suck your entire life away without too much thought...

   Bookings for 2014 are starting to come in now, so please feel free to reserve your spot before it goes bye bye..

   talking of which,

   See you next time.

   As is tradition, here's some comedy from Jimmy Carr: Warning: Absolute filth and bad language!

3. Wash out.

   Posted on 7:56pm Friday 21st Jun 2013

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   Hi all. I'm thinking I shouldn't talk about the weather but really? Is it just late or is it never coming? the summer of course. I must say, I'm not regretting the big sweat of loading into a marquee gig in the hot humid summers of yester year...Actually, I've yet to do a marquee gig this year. Perhaps they are getting fewer marquee hires this year for that reason? I mean apart from the fact that just about everyone is getting fewer bookings this year accross all sections of the industry of course. That's a given.

   I recall doing a wedding gig last summer in a marquee in someone's garden - A large garden of course. The weather wasn't too bad to start with, but then at around 5pm it started tipping it down and just didn't stop. I had my large golfing umbrella with me. I'm not a golfer, but they were selling them at Asdas for a reasonable price some years ago, so I thought I'd indulge. Funny I nearly left the damn thing in the shopping trolly before I ever got it home. Had to rush back and grab it. I guess though I was always destined to lose it. A guest at the wedding said that "it was alright for her to borrow it as I'd already lent it to her mum". Bit cheeky I thought, so I said "if you actually ask me nicely and promise to bring it back, then yes". That was the last time I ever saw it. Why is it that 99% of the stuff I ever lend out get's plain freaking stolen? I should never have broken my vow of many years ago never to lend anything to anyone for anything ever again for ever! Grrr!

   Anyway, irritating umbrella petty-theft aside, it never stopped raining from that point on. Perhaps you recall the day yourself? Perhaps it just melts into the vague memory of the perpetual rainy days of the last two years? You are forgiven. So anyhoo, the parties going great and the Bride and groom ask me if I can do another hour. Money up front as is the rule for extra time and another hour went by. Still on and on outside the rain poured down. "Can you do another hour"? "Sure" I said, looking forward to even more cash, but starting to worry as the wet stains in the carpet started to infiltrate the edge of the marquee...ulp! So the hour goes by and..."This is brilliant"! Can you do another hour? "Well", I said "normally I would, but I'm really worried about the encroaching damp situation here and actually getting home without having to hire a boat"! So I reluctantly knocked it on the head at that point and began to pack up. The carpet was soaked. I had to keep the equipment off the floor by the "door" and about 6 feet inside, as I was squelching my way to the van with it. Going home was an experience too. Other deejays were texting round warnings to "drive carefully due to the extreme floods around". I was out in the sticks, so I was dreading what I might encounter. Some big, big puddles sure enough and lot's of slow cautious driving that night... You know those nights when you're really glad to be home and in bed? (even though it's 5 am and the daylights almost upon you - thick curtains are good in this business), Well I have this depressing feeling that they'll become much more common in times to come. Perhaps I should start turning up to the gig in a pair of wellies? Now there's a great look! Perhaps it'll become a perma-fashion...

   One good thing to come out of this: At least the water companies won't be going on about empty reservoirs anymore will they? Perhaps they can even start to discount the bill? "fat chance!" I hear you say.