I’m dreaming of a white Christmas But without too much Bing.

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Hey there people! It’s Christmas!!!! well Almost. Busy sesaon this year. Busiest ever I’m glad to say. Saw a headline on the front of the sun paper the other day as I went into a garage to pay my weekly mortgage for diesel: “Cold snap” or some such thing. basically they’re predicting a white Chistmas (Remember that saying in the 90’s: “it must be true – I read it in the Sun“). Yay! Oh hang on…I’ve got to get to all those gigs….Well I still recall the feeling of coming back from a gig in Chichester on Christmas Eve a few years ago with the A27 (UK South coast east to west Main route) covered in snow at 2am in the morning and the wonderful quietness of the journey, as I padded over it and home for Christmas day. I don’t think I’ve felt that festive since i was knee high to a JLS doll. I recall looking out of the window of the hotel and saying to the punters: “Hey its snowing!”and seeing them run like school children over to the window! Ha ha! Still makes me smile…..

Well, I’ve just finished downloading the last songs before the big season starts. So many processes to get your songs sounding perfect. Normalising the volume to a set level. Analysing the Beats per minute, key signiture, Adding a second file format for my other DJ software, Putting it on a flash drive. Loading it up onto the two main console drives, re-analysing the key for console search, and finally posting the updated website song catalogue. And you think this job is easy? Pah! So much back office work, you wouldn’t believe it! Sometimes I think it helps to be single in this job, as there’s so much time spent behind a desk of some sort.

 

Some interesting Songs out at the moment. My tip for the number one at Christmas? well this one has to be in with a chance, all be it adult themed (what isnt these days?)

 

Different, Soulful, Slow, romantic. You never know.

Ok, enjoy your company party and remember: if you get taken out on a stretcher; don’t get carried away!

 

Have a good one!

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Death of Auto-tune? Some hope!

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Hi all,

I was listening to a program on radio 4 today about voice correction software. The most popular brand you will have heard of is called “Auto-tune“. I knew about this technology before, as I’m sure you did (They never had it when I was a Producer) but I never knew how widely it was used. Ever wondered why todays chart songs can sound so dull and characterless? Well one could give more than one reason for this: Producers not having a sound musical knowledge anymore? Doing everything too quickly on a laptop? Copying and pasting verses and choruses and ridding the song of character? Or perhaps so many great chord progressions have been written and copywrited, that there’s not much fertile ground available anymore for the new blood to “harvest”. Maybe it’s down to a music business run by materialists and accountants who have an exact formula for making money which precludes individualism and the art that comes with it? One thing seems for sure though; Taking into account what Grace Jones said when quoting Edith Piaf: “Use your faults. They are what make you a star”. Well we’re in a world now it seems where faults aren’t allowed anymore. The golden rule when I was a keyboard player was, if you get it wrong, play it three times and everyone will think it’s deliberate (I never tried that one to be honest) Perhaps this is why Miley Cirus and Lady Gaga not only sound so dull to me, but also sound so interchangable. All Variations of vocal are wiped clean…

To me this is definitely part of the problem. But it’s not the entire story. I think it’s partly audience driven. We live in a world where the bulk of the audience appears to demand a certain blandness in their product. Would people take to a mega band like Queen or Genesis these days? Would disco take off today? (I doubt it – people are trying all the time and are loudly ignored). What is different about prog rock and disco? Well as an ex musician I can tell you. Those bands and these types of music are arguably epic in comparison to say…Justin Beiber or most anyone else in the charts these days. Why? Simple to those in the know. Most dull samey pop tunes use the same simple “triad” chords like C, D, A, and E. these are chords that have only three notes eg: the chord of C has C (root), E (third) and G (fifth). A power chord in a Who song might include the same chord with a suspended 4th added (F). Super groups of yesteryear like the above plus people like Supertramp, Bowie etc. have songs littered with spiced up chords like this because they extend the illustrative possibilties of the song no end. A song is after all, a snapshot of a persons’ mood or thoughts in a given moment right? So why limit the poetic expression to a few bland, easliy digestible, sugarless porridge-like explanation units (chords). The extreme example of chord use is jazz and old skool R&B/soul, who’s menu seems to be too rich for the taste of most white people (audience driven see?), but is lapped up by many musicians who understand whats going on and the skill of both writer and player – See it’s harder to use big words (chords) especially when education is being forever dumbed down to make a more controllable population – Oops! Going off topic there… But it’s harder to play big chords and complex melodies, as it requires a bit of skill and practice with one’s instrument even if it’s one’s voice that’s the said item.

There used to be a band called “Pop will eat itself“. I don’t know anything about them, but their proficy seems to have come true. Pop music is at the over produced stage where it’s so far up it’s own unskilled arse that it’s becoming blind to what is and isn’t good anymore (generally).

Big producers now don’t look for skilled singers. They look for good looking singers. Skill and training isn’t needed. Now you know why few artists of this kind last five minutes. They’re on a conveyer belt and it’s a fast one.

I know what you’re thinking: how do we handle this as DJ’s? Simple. If you’re a club DJ, you’re probably playing stuff most of the night that never gets into the main charts and who gives a crap? Everyone knows dance is dance and screw it, let’s get on the club floor like we came to do and do it. Either that or your audience is happy to dance to Will.i.am type stuff all night. I don’t know about you, but I can only take so much 128bpm house in one set, even if it is peppered with David guetta and Calvin harris.

If your a mobile DJ like me, your saving grace is at most gigs (probably not 18ths) you can dip into 5-6 decades of older music to bolster up the new stuff. Works quite well if you read my reviews. Hmm… my heads aching. it must be getting too big again. Well I AM a DJ aren’t I?

I must just add that there are exeptions to the blandness of course. Some originality is allowed through from artists that don’t sound like they’re on prozac. Check out Disclosurefor some of those juicy chords I mentioned earlier. And thankfully, some decent dance music is still making it through to mainsteam. I won’t mention who. you know who they are. Then there non dance are artists like Adele, who can put some juice into their material even now and still get a recording deal. You’d think more labels would realise how well good songs sell wouldn’t you? Shortage of Adele standard artists? Never! lazy or non existant A & R? Damn sure.

finally for those that want to hear it and how Auto-tune can be used in an artistic way Here is the link to that radio 4 program

Well I don’t expect everyone to agree with me. Music is very subjective after all, but I’m just saying what I see. I’m not an old fuddy duddy either. Anything but. I’m looking at it from the point of view of an artistic person who is ever hopeful of new and fresh sounds. I hope that comes through in the above.

Have a good one,

Mike

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October update and “What makes a DJ?”

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Hi all. It’s been a while ain’t it? I’ve been busy. Have bought some new speakers. I won’t bore you with numbers. you can find that out on the booking and prices page. Suffice to say they are pretty awsome sounding and have some great kick. They are so bassy that together with my subwoofers, I am getting asked to turn down the bass at nearly every gig! that’s ok by me. It means I have finally after all these years reached the required “critical mass”. Every DJ when he starts out, finds that volume and impact costs bucks. The bigger the impact needed the bigger the bucks you have to fork out.

I’m not sure if there are many venue’s left that I couldn’t fill if you take into account that I’ve still got my old system intact and ready to add if needs be – 2.1 KW. Add that to my current system of 4.4 KW and not only can you see how things have progressed, but how big they could be if in fact I can actually fit it all in the van! I reckon I could, but I’d need an understanding venue owner or failing that, a roadie.

Next purchase will be some extra uplighters so hopefully next year you will be able to hire more at once if you need to.

I have plans to build a new page soon as I’m getting quite a few booking for children’s parties. (update – Job done – Yeehaa! click here etc.) The great thing about them is that unlike adults, small people don’t need 3 pints of stella to get on the dance floor and get straight into it. Some of the most rewarding parties I’ve done have been this type and if you check my testimonials, it seems that the clients agree in full.

 

So self promotion aside, what makes a DJ?

A DJ is a bit of a loner. He likes to take matters into his own hands. He was the guy that didn’t know what to do with himself at those house parties you had in your younger years, but he did know he loved music and he did want to be in control of what was played on the stereo. So he did. If you had a youth club he probably did the same there with all your records/tapes/mp3 players..

A DJ is Dissident. He was the outsider. He was the guy at the end of the street who wanted to be a musician and maybe even was for a while, but either got frustrated with his own inability or that of others. What could he do? He couldn’t bare the thought of not being out there and playing – So he became a DJ. (think of grandmaster flash and all the other rappers – they were/are all DJ producers aren’t/weren’t they?)

Should he wear a suit and tie and look like a sales rep at your gig? Absolutely not! Should he wear a tux and bow tie like so many do in America and end up looking like one of the waiters? Of course not. (black tie if absolutely necessary)  Smart yes, but blend in with others? Never! It goes against everything above, doesn’t it?

A DJ is different to a musician. Yes he’s still an artist (there are degrees of course) and no he doesn’t often get offered a free dinner and a changing room with two half hour breaks per night and a total of about two hours playing time. Nope.

He’s the guy/girl who comes in with a van load of equipment usually on his own, sets it up in front of you and proceeds to entertain the hell out of you for 4 hours plus a night, solely respnsible for everything and taking it single-handedly on the chin if it all goes wrong.

Despite what you may think, he always under charges because you don’t see the hours and hours of other work that goes on before and in part after the gig. All the admin the checking out of songs, some editing perhaps for your first dance etc., the website building and the emailing to try to persuade you to write a review so he can have some credibilty with the next customer.

if he’s good he’ll have skills that you’ll appreciate. He’ll have rhythm and he will be able to mix without it sounding like a horse falling down stairs between each track. If he’s reallygood he’ll leave you somewhat breathless by building you up to a musical climax that you won’t forget. Of course too many requests may throw him off so far that this may be impossible!

Lastly, please don’t think this can all be done for peanuts. Oh yes, there are DJ’s that charge peanuts. But they have crappy equipment and and they are the one’s we have to clean up after when they’ve let you down at the last minute – Which many of them do.

You can’t take £10,000 worth of show on the road for £150 per night. You can take cheap, horrible sounding gear out for that if you’re planning not to have to replace it. A warning to all those that do or would. There’s nothing quite as intimidating as a crowd of alchohol-fuelled guests that have been let down by a technical failure. I had it twice so far. Once when a CD player was had a plug which was wired on a friday afternoon (soon fixed) and once when the laptop crashed possibly due to extreme heat that day. Oh actually I forgot the drunken 18 year old at a wedding who emptied his vodka all over the laptop, but by then I had a back up system. You really need stuff to be reliable as a guest and a performer and that takes investment.

Anyway, I didn’t intend to ramble on about money. I just thought you’d like to know what type of people we are really.

Other deejays are welcome to criticize of course. But I reserve the right to be rude if you are.

Until next time I’ll leave you with this thought from my friend and fellow entertainer Erik Jack: if everything’s coming your way – you’re in the wrong lane!

Bye for now fellow music nutters.

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First dances – How to have your guests remember yours forever!

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Nearly every wedding has a first dance. Many couples are shy and ask me to bring other couples onto the floor to join them around halfway through the track – Sorry – Song – DJ speak! Anyway here’s a couple who were having none of that! It was their big day and they were going to go perform! Please enjoy and if you’d like me to create a mix for you to do the same thing then don’t be afraid to ask. Remember, This is a personal, tailored-to-fit DJ service I’m running here…

Amazing First Dance Wedding of Naomi & Ryan from Harry Kilb on Vimeo.

Also, Check out this one I myself did in 2009. Not my camera, but you can get the idea.

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Wash out.

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Hi all. I’m thinking I shouldn’t talk about the weather but really? Is it just late or is it never coming? the summer of course. I must say, I’m not regretting the big sweat of loading into a marquee gig in the hot humid summers of yester year…Actually, I’ve yet to do a marquee gig this year. Perhaps they are getting fewer marquee hires this year for that reason? I mean apart from the fact that just about everyone is getting fewer bookings this year accross all sections of the industry of course. That’s a given.

I recall doing a wedding gig last summer in a marquee in someone’s garden – A large garden of course. The weather wasn’t too bad to start with, but then at around 5pm it started tipping it down and just didn’t stop. I had my large golfing umbrella with me. I’m not a golfer, but they were selling them at Asdas for a reasonable price some years ago, so I thought I’d indulge. Funny I nearly left the damn thing in the shopping trolly before I ever got it home. Had to rush back and grab it. I guess though I was always destined to lose it. A guest at the wedding said that “it was alright for her to borrow it as I’d already lent it to her mum”. Bit cheeky I thought, so I said “if you actually ask me nicely and promise to bring it back, then yes”. That was the last time I ever saw it. Why is it that 99% of the stuff I ever lend out get’s plain freaking stolen? I should never have broken my vow of many years ago never to lend anything to anyone for anything ever again for ever! Grrr!

Anyway, irritating umbrella petty-theft aside, it never stopped raining from that point on. Perhaps you recall the day yourself? Perhaps it just melts into the vague memory of the perpetual rainy days of the last two years? You are forgiven. So anyhoo, the parties going great and the Bride and groom ask me if I can do another hour. Money up front as is the rule for extra time and another hour went by. Still on and on outside the rain poured down. “Can you do another hour”? “Sure” I said, looking forward to even more cash, but starting to worry as the wet stains in the carpet started to infiltrate the edge of the marquee…ulp! So the hour goes by and…”This is brilliant”! Can you do another hour? “Well”, I said “normally I would, but I’m really worried about the encroaching damp situation here and actually getting home without having to hire a boat”! So I reluctantly knocked it on the head at that point and began to pack up. The carpet was soaked. I had to keep the equipment off the floor by the “door” and about 6 feet inside, as I was squelching my way to the van with it. Going home was an experience too. Other deejays were texting round warnings to “drive carefully due to the extreme floods around”. I was out in the sticks, so I was dreading what I might encounter. Some big, big puddles sure enough and lot’s of slow cautious driving that night… You know those nights when you’re really glad to be home and in bed? (even though it’s 5 am and the daylights almost upon you – thick curtains are good in this business), Well I have this depressing feeling that they’ll become much more common in times to come. Perhaps I should start turning up to the gig in a pair of wellies? Now there’s a great look! Perhaps it’ll become a perma-fashion…

One good thing to come out of this: At least the water companies won’t be going on about empty reservoirs anymore will they? Perhaps they can even start to discount the bill? “fat chance!” I hear you say.

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Bognor illuminations 2013

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Hi all. Well after going away to do voluntary work late last summer (never to be repeated) the resultant lack of bookings combined with a real all round lull in everyone’s bookings this year has meant that this summer has been the quietest ever!

Having several weekends off has been quite a novelty and has helped me slightly with my house hunting, not to mention my love life!

Now I know how most of you folks out there manage to make it all work. Still, I and others have been going too long between gigs and this can lead to forgetting at least some of what songs you’ve got. Not the most optimum state to be in!

So with this in mind I need all of you to flood me with bookings now since according to the media, we are now in a recovery and hoarding your cash won’t help the situation improve. Come on now, you know you want to do your bit!

Good news is, it enabled me to comfortably do the illuminations this year for charity in Bognor Regis. I’ve filmed this event before, but this I have to admit is the first time I’ve DJ’d on a moving stage ie: a forty foot trailor. It wasn’t too bad, but could have been better say about three years ago or more. Why? well three years or more ago HGV’s didn’t have so many automatic gear boxes. As a qualified HGV and sometimes temp driver myself I can inform you that usually when driving one of these trucks you press the pedal to the floor and around 2.5 seconds later you get a response. Usually a lurch forward unless you have exceptional experience of the vehicles charactoristics, which the driver on the night alas didn’t. Not to take anything away from him, he did his best, but he wasn’t the regular driver so there cosequently were a fair number of lurches as we went through the town centre. This made for an interesting gig I have to say since there is nothing quite like trying to mix tracks when your decks are a moving target in more ways than the usual circular motion that every turntable-ist is familiar with. I had to give up pretty quickly and use the laptop on autopilot. A shame as it’s not quite so visual, but when you’re trying to hang onto your PA system (which I found surprisingly hard to strap down due to the shape of it in relation to the position of the trailor anchor points) and stop it from doing the highland fling….well compromises must be made! I got Dee to film it on my HD phone but forgot to tell her that if she held it perpendicular to the target we’d get sideways video. My fault entirely. So I had limited footage to edit after the event. On the up side, those of you who have a short attention span will love it! Have a look here:

However, that being said, we won first prize! after winning at last month’s pub quiz with my new girlfriend and team, I’ve got to say this summer’s not been without it’s high points.

Also as I type this, my site is being updated, so expect a slightly snazzier look soon. I built this site entirely myself and I’ll be sad to see it go, but of course you don’t move with the times by staying still so I’ve got a man in now who’s already proved his worth in other areas of website promotion. It feels good to hand some of this work over after all these years of doing it myself, since it can suck your entire life away without too much thought…

Bookings for 2014 are starting to come in now, so please feel free to reserve your spot before it goes bye bye..

talking of which,

See you next time.

As is tradition, here’s some comedy from Jimmy Carr: Warning: Absolute filth and bad language!

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Social marketing – Yaawn!

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Well hello there. I was at home most of the day yesterday and well…I was on my laptop from around midday to 9pm without stopping. I was researching how and what extra tweeks I could apply to get my site a little bit closer to the top of Google, since those are the guys that are getting the most phone calls and at this time of year, one thinks about that quite a bit really. Every year the recession seems to kick in a bit harder and you wonder just a little bit more how much worse it can get.

I began to feel a little bit nostalgic today, thinking about all the hoops I’ve jumped through on the marketing front of late, not least due to all the stuff I read yesterday.

Let’s see now: What does the modern small business need to promote themselves these days?

Hmmm…. There’s a facebook page to maintain. There’s a twitter page to keep going. There’s Google local, Google plus page, Linkedin, Pinterest, and now instagram. Oh and let us not forget; after all that you have your own actual site to maintain, update and keep interesting.

I’m starting to think back to the old days – You know the year 2000 to say 2003, when all you had to do was pay Yellow pages a kings bloody ransom and some geeky arty mate to design your adbox (under your strict supervision of course) and you could rely on your phone to ring all year, thus leaving you to indulge in the thing that you were good at and actually had a passion for: you know – Your business!

I just had a message from facebook today saying that I could do with putting some more up to date content on my facebook DJ page. Ha! How much can you actually say about deejaying to your public? I mean we can witter on (that’s witter not twitter) for hours on forum sites between ourselves, talking shop, but what more is there to say to potential and current customers? Here I am. I’m really good at what I do because I love it and my testimonials confirm this. Well, where does one go from there?

This is why I write about completely irrelevant subjects on my blog. It isn’t just because I’m a rebel and I don’t give a crap for for business blog etiquette. This is of course completely true, but the point being there just isn’t that much to say about deejaying really is there?  But there’s plenty to say about my life like: Should I write to my MP about BT Openreach? When I moved in here at the beginning of January my phone company said I can’t have a phone line until February 21st as there is a Christmas back log with said company. Christmas backlog my arse! One company in charge of line installations in the whole country? Is it any wonder they give you a line when they feel like it? I bet BT customers don’t have to wait that long do they? Oh no. No conflict of interest there is there? That’s what you get when there’s no competition. A bit like Railtrack and look what they’ve achieved since inception. Then there’s the maintainance guy for my flat/house – I can’t decide what to call it – It’s too small for a house, but it’s on two floors and looks like one. Anyway, all this guy has to do is replace a switch on a storage heater and one month and 6 days later he’s still telling me he’s working on getting hold of a suitable one to fit. What? I’ve had stuff delivered from China twice since then. Where’s it coming from?  Jupiter? The outer moons of the Andromeda galaxy? Chipping Sodbury?

Anyway, I digress. If you or anyone you know feels that there is some vital piece of information that you need to know about hiring a mobile dj that isn’t covered on my site, please get in touch and I’ll be happy to pad it out in another blog/facebook post/twitter etc. soon – But of course i won’t just copy and paste it to each site – NOOO. Google will have my nuts on a kabab if I do that!

Take care for now,

Mike

 

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All inclusive wedding packages

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Hi all. I’m getting some worrying news these days about hotels supplying dj’s as part of the package. particularly for wedding receptions at budget prices. This isn’t anything new, but it’s on the increase if all the blogs are to be believed. Well, Just in case you’re thinking of going down that route (and who could blame you?) I’ve heard a lot of complaints are being received from customers about what transpires on the actual night. I guess it stands to reason that if the hotel is paying the DJ a pittance, then a few things will be inevitable: 1. He/she won’t know or be particularly interested in the customers individual needs. 2 He/she won’t have the budget to invest in decent equipment. you may not think this is important, but believe me I went to a gig the other week and the sound system was so badly set up that the sound output was practically cutting my head in half. I finished my one beer and promptly left the building. 3. The hotel or venue will try and lock you into this deal with some extra charge for not agreeing to the whole sad business. Try to remember that as Paddy Mc Guinness says: Now the power is in your hands. And as businesses compete for your attention, if you stick to your guns and threaten to walk if you don’t get the choice, then you will retain that power no matter what happens after. If they’re smart, they’ll capitulate; if they’re stupid, they’ll lose your business and somewhere down the line probably will go out of business. I’ve seen a lot of businesses where I’ve wondered how they survive and sure enough, many a time I’ve seen them predictably die.

I hardly need mention this, but if you’re a couple in love and want to make your wedding reception the party of a lifetime, then don’t let some banqueting manager dictate that you have to have a poor quality, under invested  DJ/entertainer to underwhealm both yourselves and your closest friends and family. By the way, I’m not saying that if the hotel recommends a good DJ who you have chance to talk to before hand and isn’t tied into some kind of crippling deal with them won’t be rewarding. That isn’t the point. I know DJ’s who do this and it’s all good. If you do meet them and like them, then no problem.

Book someone who is independant and cares what happens at the venue and on the dance floor through the night. I have many competitors in this field, but few of them if any are actually the same guy you talk to beforehand like my self.

I used to employ other dj’s when I started out and could still make a lot of money out of doing so if I wanted. However, I rarely do these days as I had some close calls on reliability and decided that ethics and 100% peace of mind- ie: knowing that you can look after the customer and never let them down (short of dying on the way to the gig) with the resulting good reputation was far more important than outsource income. Something that all inclusive package hotels could do well to learn now and not sometime in the future when all the good guys have been priced out of a living.

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Celebs and DIY makeover

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Well you know, as an ex musician and now DJ, I’ve met my share of celebrities I suppose and Most of the time I’m quite sort of…”Yeah whatever”. I must admit though, Sitting next to this lovely lady who actually is probably the only lady left in the develoloped world who actually has that woman look ie: not jeans or trousers all the time, I thought: My god, I’ve been watching this person on TV for years admiring that look and here she is sitting next to me in another gorgeous outfit and looking even better in real life! Well it was a brief moment and a quick chat, where I admitted to her that when they said who I’d be working with, I thought it was what turns out to be Linda Barker (I’ve never been to hot with recalling names of TV folks on those magazine type shows). Well I’m glad it was the actual Kirstie Allsopp instead.

Just a quick thanks to all at B&Q Bognor who looked after me and were great: Tony, Yohan and the crew. And hello to the Spirit FM Crew Who I had a good chinwag with too. I never realised how much the look of B&Q has changed with this revamp until I talked to one of the manageresses today. I’m not much of a DIYer, being a renting tennant, but I do recall that grey warehouse look with pallets up to the ceiling on racking shelves with all the dust that accompanies such a system. Well that’s all gone now. Plush clean floor level layout with lots of space and thought into where stuff is: eg: if you want curtains then you should find curtain hooks right beside them instead of in a different department like ironmongery or something! Also it’s fully hooked into the web with interactive screens where you can order brochures direct to your home and look up instructional films on youtube. Free wifi instore if you’ve got your ipad or netbook etc. If you’re really savvy you can hook up your smartphone and save broadband data allowance. That reminds me, I need to ditch this blackberry and bear the pain of texting on a touchscreen phone so I can actually see a website when I need to without the use of a microscope! Meanwhile back at the ranch (B&Q), they really seem to have thought it through, with the idea being that if shops carry on the way they have been doing, then even more will go out of business. For that alone I admire the forward thinkingness of the board, or if not then whoever isn’t getting the credit right now. They’ve put the money where their mouths are too investing around £3million in this one store alone.

On a different note, thanks to kim for recommending Leanne to me. I think that covers it for this one.

Take care until next time.

Mike

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Back for good. And loving it!

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Hi all. Haven’t done a blog for a long time now. I’ve been away doing voluntary work. Alas, i missed my life as a DJ and I had to come back. So I’m well and truly back in business. Good news is, my diary is wide open so if you have any doubts about availability I shouldn’t worry.  Already done a couple of gigs and it feels mighty good I can tell you. Just sorting out a place to live right now and it can’t come soon enough. I don’t mind living in a B&B but it get’s a bit costly after a while.

Where I was working I was doing close to 100 hours per week. That sounds like a lot, but it’s actually quite do-able. Only trouble is, you don’t really have a life outside of it and it was that plus deejaying that I missed.

Being back in what we would all call ordinary life is so much more appreciated now I can tell you..

On the upside, I lost over a stone in weight and though I didn’t really consider myself a fatty, for the first time in my life, my stomach is flat! All i have to do is get into my new place and give up eating bread. Kind of difficult to do when you’re living on full english and then whatever you can buy at the garage for the rest of the day…. Last week I played at a hotel as I am tonight and I must have looked weird as i was wearing my old smart clothes which were roughly two sizes too big. Doesn’t inspire great confidence in one’s self looking like a tortoise peering out of it’s shell! Never mind, have smaller trousers now so the “pair of flour sacks/refugee” look has gone.

I’ve noticed that most TV is appauling. Did i mention I haven’t seen any for around 4 months? Some great documentaries of course as always, but reality TV still has all the appeal of a cheese greater on one’s privates. No change there then.

I Was Sleeping in a dormatory for all that time, so it’s great to have a bedroom again. You get used to other peoples snoring (and farting) but never the less it’s good to be able to spread out a bit and breath cleaner air.

Aah well, shoes to polish, food to eat so better get on.

Back soon and have a great Christmas and new year!

Regards,

 

Mike

Here’s Michael Mac intyre with a bit of Brighton and Hove and Holiday home truths.

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