New Website for 2019

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Hi everybody. Here I am in my 19th year of business with a brand new website. So that being said, Please forgive me that it’s quite basic at the moment. there should be lots more content as time goes on. But for now, as ever, if there’s anything you need to ask about hiring me, Please call any time on: 07976 409 141

Thanks and have a great week!

Mike

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New toys and added enthusiasm

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This year and last I’ve updated the show with some great lighting and speakers. The whole show is lighter and brighter than ever before.

a friend and other local DJ who uses the same software has been on at me for a few years now to get this new controller (digital decks) and I’ve declined due to other upgrade priorities. He showed me one for sale on Ebay recently (Good as new and half the price) and I bit the bullet and went for it .

denon-hc4500 rack-mount-dj-controller-

I’m so glad I did! It controls the main DJ software so well, it’s shortened my job a lot and now I just can’t get enough of it! 

So come on and book me! I’m itching for more action!

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New year, new lighting control

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Hi all,

Been a while since the last blog eh? Well I’m sure you’re not holding your breaths, you know with billions of nuggets of information streaming at you non-stop from Facebook etc.

Had a great Christmas season. Better than I expected.

Had a gig in January where the new lighting software failed to launch. we discovered that this was because “Good old” Microsoft had put out a major update to windows 10 and it rendered the driver useless….Man! Don’t tell me I should have Apple instead. I’ve heard too many bad stories about that company from many sources and besides, I don’t have a spare grand and a half to spend on one laptop with the same hardware inside as a £300.00 Windows version.

Anyhoo, we sorted it out in the end and with a recent School disco I got to try it out. Wow! I wish I’d done this earlier! And I would have, but I needed a guiding hand/Guru to show me what the hell I needed to do. My friend Stuart from After Dark discos stepped in after seeing me at a gig with sound-to-light effects going a little bit too quickly to match the mood of the music some of the time. Liike I say, I was aware of this after updating all my lighting – I used to have more control before, but I needed someone who knew the subtle art of DMX (digital multiplex) ie: how to program your entire disco lighting rig from a software program on your laptop.

It’s a bit like when I was working out how to run a digital music studio and how to get it to communicate with my keyboards and other modules (Back in the nineties – Aah, the memories!), but not quite as complicated. It’s all based on channels and which ones to assign to your equipment. Once you’ve worked that out, the rest isn’t too bad. It’s mainly about writing new lighting sequences and how long each light flash/effect will last for in the sequence. A bit time consuming setting it all up, but worth it for the after effect.

So I’m looking forward to an even greater lightshow this year with the new set up – More intelligent you might say.

 

200w2001w2002w

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Welcome to 2019 – The goal posts are moving.

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Hi all,

I’m convinced that Google is trying to kill me! I’ve updated my site with all the mobile technology for over a year I’m sure and recently I’ve had it professionally made even more mobile responsive and even more aesthetic, yet still I’m sinking like a stone in the Search results.

So despite having some of the best reviews ever this year and last, I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be in Business. I’ve watched how the monopoly monolith on searches has changed over the years, first being quite friendly and gradually becoming more politically tainted, censoring anyone to the right of communism and moving directory sites to the top of the results pages.

It used to be that you could buy, or bid your way to the top if you had enough cash for advertising, but now even those results are many times at the bottom of the page.

Make a quality page with good content they say. a page that people want to visit. well I did. and customers have told me over the years how much they love the site – Attractive, informative, helpful and friendly.Hell, for years I was the only one brave enough to post my prices up! Yet it seems that even that isn’t good enough for the tech giant anymore.

I’ve just descovered a great Search engine extention for firefox or just independant, called “Ecosia” It hasn’t been seeded by the CIA/NSA to spy on you,peek into everything you do and everywhere you go…. AND you get to feel good, as trees are planted for every paid ad you click on. But what’s it like to use? well it piggy-backs on the mighty Microsoft Bing search engine. Have you searched on Bing? Well let me tell you, if you do, you instantly get to see everything that goes wrong when someone has a monopoly and it goes to their head. Bing is much more logical than “Bamboozle” and in my opinion, much more people friendly – er excuse me Ecosia is much more people friendly. as I’m sure you’ve guessed, my site comes much higher in the results too. But then why wouldn’t it? I’ve been around for years, as have the sites with similar results and we all have good, decent, established sites.

You know how Lidle shops are like Tesco used to be with reasonable prices? well Bing/Ecosia is like how Google was in about 2010-2012 before it started going weird and illogical – seemingly favouring just the kind of directory/link farm sites that it once frowned upon. It seems these days it’s a real lottery if you own a small business and need exposure. Yes I advertise on Facebook, but it’s mainly filled with “tyre kickers” these days. we appear to live in a world increasingly only concerned with the lowest price, when the perfect solution lies somehwere in the middle. By that I mean you need a supplier that won’t rip you off or let you down, but still can eak out a living from servicing your needs.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I often get calls (when I do get calls) from people who have found the lowest price and been dropped at the last minute when the greaseball DJ has had a better offer. “Oh I’m sorry but there’s been a death in the family/I have to go into hospital” etc. It could be true, but how do you know? and more to the point, you now have a bigger problem, as it’s two days before your party and you have no entertainment! That’s when you ring me up and find out the true cost of reliability. Then you go elsewhere. where you all go, I’m buggered if I know because you don’t usually book. The price difference must be vast! I’m not a rip off artist at all, but I need to pay the bills. I’m a little old to be living with my parents!

Well in conclusion, I pray for two things this year: 1. As I’m sure you will agree, I hope to god we escape from the German EU communist empire sooner rather than later, so we can all have some certainty of outcome (as opposed to enforced equality of outcome), and 2. That Google, like standard oil did, get’s broken up, since it’s total domination is now a destructive force in the world.

You can help with the last bit by choosing another search engine like the affore mentioned. If you don’t own a business, you don’t need Google, so what have you got to lose?

Until the next blog, have a great 2019 everybody.

 

Mike

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Eurovision

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Last night I didn’t have a gig, so I decided to brave Eurovision. This is the first time I’ve done this since 2009 when I was with my then German girlfriend Becky at her Mother’s lovely house in a village near Bremen and it was mandatory viewing.

First of all top marks to the company that provided the staging graphics. I’ve never seen anything quite so awsome even at a U2 concert. (Credit to U2, this was the Orange tour I’m refering to and that was some years ago). They were simply cutting-edge wonderful. I suspect it might have been G-force, who have come a long way since creating amazing desktop PC music visualisation effects and have formed the backdrop to at least one George Michael tour amongst other artists. I’m only guessing though. I could be wrong.

The juxtoposition of these amazing stage graphics to an almost completely dire set of songs was something to behold. Not one decent song in 26, oh well, apart from our entry. I didn’t think it was a masterpiece, but it remains a melodic, well put together song none the less.

And now I hear today (Sunday) that it came third from the bottom in the voting. The favourite was Russia. Great graphics and great performance around them, but crap song again.

The winner was Ukraine. A well depressing bunch of garbage. The theme was political and personal to the performer, but again contained no decent orchestration, melody or correct use of chords etc. to back up the emotion of it. Result – Rubbish. Brutal? Perhaps. True? Definitely.

In my humble opinion, though I only saw bits of it, The cypriot entry wasn’t quite as bad as the others, but scored really quite badly. Austria was melodic, but a bit lame and came 13th.

It seems to me that in order to succeed at Eurovision these days, you have to drop any notion of musical knowledge of using the right chords for the mood, proper musical arangment and any hint of a melody, not to mention actually singing in tune on the night. This despite the only live element being the vocals. – Try and find any instrument with a lead attached to it – Too time consuming sound checking all those artists I guess. Easier to put on their studio track – Top Of The Pops style. Thus a rock band come on and sound as dry as a desert rat’s testicles. (For anybody under 30 reading this TOTP was a music show on BBC1 on a Thursday night which was axed on the premise that we’d all prefer watching MTV or music video channels than watching chart acts “perform” their latest offerings to lip sync. Just how wrong can you be? Well I don’t get MTV because I hate sky and Rupert “Media fascist” Murdock and I can’t stand music videos going round and round on a loop, never relating to any notion of performance; just a fast cut (epileptic caution) montage of unrelated and irelevant film clips pasted together over a song. That’s why.  Top of the Pops was a legend that I’m afraid you’ll only get to see at Christmas for some bizarre reason.

However, I digress….

So much of music now seems to be like the proverbial “empirer’s new clothes”. I feel like the minority who can see that the fraudster isn’t actually wearing any whilst most apparently can’t. Though to be fair, Although I despair at some of the chart acts of today, desperately trying not to write anything with any distinguishable melody (lacking talent or afraid of infringing someone’s copywrite – You decide), I’m actually in awe of everything in the current charts compared to everything (bar the UK entry) I had to endure last night. Which brings me to Justin Timberlake:

I wonder what Justin Timberlake thought last night as he too had to sit through all that crap in the green room before coming on with his kick-ass band of top players and equally kick-ass set. I’ve not liked everything Justin has done by any means but the two numbers last night were top notch. Credit where it’s due. Anyway, how did he feel? Smug, I’m guessing. What do you think?

it’s hard to think that this is the show that brought us Abba. But forget about Abba for a minute, Justin timberlake Started out what 20 years ago? Look how far ability has fallen in just 20 years. Where is the next Prince, Jimmi Hendrix, Pink Floyd, Etc.?

Not to leave you on a downer, Consider this as a last thought: What have all the top selling musician’s got in common? Could it be melody? Orchestration? When will record companies get this? Adele, Calvin Harris, Bruno Mars, David Guetta, Galantis, DNC…. They all produce melodic tracks and they are the top sellers of today. How did this get by the Eurovision acts/Jury? Is this a European musical conspiracy to bore us all to death? Is this the real future of remaining in Europe?

I hope we never find out!

 

Take care and thanks for reading.

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My best Set up Ever

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Well finally after all these years of investment I have the best equipment set up ever.

This year and some of last year I ploughed money into replacing speakers with higher quality ones than ever when I went all out for Electrovoice subs and tops which have the added benefit of being lighter as well as punchier sounding and cleaner then the previous JBLs. Somewhere in amongst these upgrades I bought some Yamaha DXR 15″ tops which make a very nice addition to a bigger set up and so are definately not wasted! I just got new replacement circuit boards for the JBLs which has the effect of stopping all the age crackle that I was getting – You could have them at a steady volume but there was no ajusting mid gig! Now smooth and clean like new again. Recycling at it’s best, as they sit nicely in a six speaker set up as extra top (treble range).

My most exciting puchase of late is the gigbar 2 from Chauvet. It used to take me 20 minutes to set up the lighting rig and to be honest I’d probably still be using that system now if it wern’t for the fact that the special electric mounting bar wasn’t seriously worn out from many years of gigging. Trouble was, they’ve stopped making the damn things and liquid metal (JB coldweld) repairs only hold lighting units up for so long before the weld fails and the units fall off. So the upshot is that I bought this new unit with all the same lighting effects including strobe, ultra violet, Moonflower (floor patterns) , Colourwash (for room colour) AND laser too all in and on the bar in miniture. Permanantly attached and brighter than the previous effects, it all fits into a guitar sized case and can be up and running in five minutes! I This tegether with the lighter speakers and more compact console means set up is much improved to what it was only a year or two ago.

This means I enjoy gigs more than ever now, as there is less hassle getting in and out of venues and less time for staff and customers to wait for me at the end of the gig. Colours are brighter too which gives a different dimension to the performance.

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One Shocking Mistake That could Kill Your party

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Hi all, I’ve heard a lot of stories about tin pot mobile discos over the years. I’ve heard it from the guy who repairs my equipment. I’ve heard it from customers and I’ve heard it from other DJ’s.

I’ve had the phone calls that go something like…..Hi, we’ve been let down by our DJ (Great! Opportunity for me) and can you fill in this Saturday/some Saturday etc.

I check the diary and I can do it. “Oh great! How ,much do you charge?” Me: “XYZ…”  Them: “Oh that’s a little bit more than we were hoping to pay” or: “OK, I’ll call you back” – Meaning that I’m never going to hear from them before Earth freezes over… Sometimes if I’m awake enough or get the chance, I ask what price they were quoted from the guy who let them down or what they were hoping to pay. It’s usually somewhere in the region of £100.00 to £150.00 for a five hour gig. Well, let’s see about this. Let’s break it down:

Music

You may think that is a fair price for a DJ. I mean, he only plays a few records/songs for christ’s sake. How hard can it be?

Of course what you don’t see is the time and years spent getting together those tracks. Processing them so that they sound even and don’t jump in volume like your own MP3’s do on your ipod for example. Every track I upload has to be:

1.Volume normalised.

2. analysed for BPM (beats per minute).

3. Analysed for key (Ab, C minor etc.)

4. converted to one other file format as well as MP3 as one of my systems uses it’s own format which has a little extra information added.

5. Renamed from “track 5 (on album) and song title” to “Artist and Title”.

6. Loaded onto 4 seperate hard drives – Two for the road and two for back up back at the “lab”.

When a customer want’s their own song list, this can involve hours of unpaid work and music costs, none of which we usually charge for.

Equipment.

Equipment costs have come down in recent years, but a decent show with yes (i’m always asked whether I bring this) decent lighting will still not leave you much change out of around ten grand. And that’s not counting the back up equipment back at the yard that you collect over the years, which is needed more often than you’d think. For example, you can’t do a massive marquee gig with the standard village hall/hotel set up. You have to load up with those mostly decommissioned extra bass cabs and maybe extra top speakers too.

We all start out with very basic show set ups until we get an idea of what is required. The difference between a professional and a cheap amateur is: Do you build it up as fast as you can or do you continue with what you’ve got whilst undercutting everyone else until you can’t afford to maintain what little you have? I’ve heard stories of “DJ’s” turning up with a laptop and one or two Maplins speakers with maybe 50 MP3’s. Well it hardly makes for what I’d call a “show” does it?

Then there is the guy who maybe has a little more beaten up old equipment (like the guy who did my cousin’s wedding and convinced me that I could easily do better) and who will drop you like a stone at the last-minute if he get’s a more lucrative offer. – No ethics at all.

Talking of ethics, all equipment must be tested every year by a qualified technician. Some DJ’s make this up. I don’t.

Setting up time.

I’m constantly asked if I charge for the whole time I’m at the venue, ie: Setting up time as well as playing time. Well guess what? I don’t charge for that either and neither do most other pros.

So what SHOULD I expect to pay?

What you should expect to pay is what you’d expect to pay any other professional tradesman like a plumber – At this time of writing, around £50-£60 per hour is a good bench mark, I resist the urge to mention garage mechanic, as they can be up to £90.00 per hour. But to be fair to them, they have one hell of a lot of equipment to buy and maintain.

Conclusion

The gist of this blog is that we are no different to any other service in that you really do get what you pay for. The only difference with us is that we are artists and there is an unmeasurable quality to how we feel what we do. How we have to have heightened perception of reading the crowd’s mood at any given time of the night and what track will drop in at just the right time. How to address the crowd with confidence, clarity and engaging friendliness. This requires knowledge, taste and experience, but you have to love it to succeed in the long run.  Particularly when you are humping heavy gear upstairs or hundreds of yards in the rain from/to the van from/to a venue with terrible access!

I hope you found this helpful. I will now meta tag it up so anyone asking “How much to pay for a DJ in the UK” will find it.

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Holidays R Coming and lots more work with it.

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Hi all, Im enjoying my first day off in about five months. I’ve just had a shower and I really must put some clothes on. Something I’ve been telling myself for a few hours now. I guess this being November and five degrees outside it’s testomony to my insulation. The whole house heats from one radiator downstairs in the living room. I’ll really miss that when I move soon.

Yes folks I’m moving. about 1 mile down the road. That must be the shortest distance yet. I’ve moved about 60 times since I first left home. No not because I’m a criminal! No quite the contrary. I’m one of those geezers who gets on his bike to follow the work/girlfriend/some other ligitimate reason this time like having more room than in my wildest dreams. Yep, I’m finally making that step from living in a flat/ small haunted cottage in the town centre of yee olde Littlehampton highway stop/Globe inn, to a virtual palace of a two bedroomed house (yeehaa!). It’s going to feel weird. That much I do know. Whether also because it too is haunted by it’s former and now deceased occupant I don’t yet know.

Anyway, in true sod’s law fashion, I’ll probably be forced to move just as the christmas season starts in earnest. Never mind; I’m never intending to move again this lifetime so help me. So this will be the last time…As the song goes.

Ok. time to do something else apart from sitting here naked.

 

Bye for now and have a groooovy Christmas!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnpqT8Ux9zk (Children and Christmas from Michael McIntyre)

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Spring roundup

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Hi all,

This is the time of year when winter apprehension starts hopefully to ease off a bit as bookings start to come in again for the summer ahead. Seems slower than usual, but I think that most years, so perhaps it’s just normal.

Starting this season with a revamp to the heart of my show: My DJ Console. You’re looking at my DJ facebook page for April 20th. If you’re looking at the dates on here and wondering why the post frequency has gone down in recent years, It’s because most new ideas and mutterings are now quickly posted to that page. Anyway, When deejaying went digital, the industry wasn’t really prepared to cater to the needs of the digital DJ in terms of flight casing the gear. It was fine if you had a pair of record decks or CD decks, but with laptops and various 19″ rack shaped controllers (decks that play mp3 files from a hard drive or laptop drive) you were “shagged” really. So I being one of these early pioneers, designed my own case. It was well made, but when it arrived, the lid came up too high and I could only just peek over the top. My mate Ian joked that perhaps I could cut a slit/postbox hole in the lid and have a type of burka console. Well I lowered it by introducing a wooden (but tastefully blackened) prop. This had the effect of making my face visible to the crowd if of course you looked through the lighting without being dazzled in the process. Honestly folks, I thought no one want’s to really se the DJ do they? Well I may be right in some cases, but not in most. So now with the lights to one side and the new case without the coffin lid, I should be more in the spotlight and less intimidating. If I’m haveing a great time, the audience will see and it should spread the mood onto the floor a bit more than before when I relied mostly on great music alone! 15 years as a DJ and I’m still learning. Back to the days when all you had was a set of cd decks between you and the punters! hold onto that lager! Don’t come near the stage with that you p***head! (all my protection is gone!)

One more good thing: As I emptied the old “coffin” case today, I realised that part of the reason why it weighed a flippin’ tonne is not so much because of what I had in it, more because the case itself weighed a ruddy tonne before anything was put into it…Looking forward to easier times…

 

Bye for now.

 

Jack Dee on being drunk

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Shorter gigs.

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Hi there again. In all my years of doing this job I can’t help noticing one thing in particular. Long 5 to 6 hour gigs tend to drag on not just for me, but for the guests too. Sometimes particularly weddings seem to have to go on depending on the venue and set up situation. But if you can keep cool and restrict our performance to 4 hours or better still say 3 hours, what you will get is focused attention!

Time and time again I’ve done long sprawling 5 to 6 or even longer gigs where the crowd knows I’m there for ever and a day and they don’t pay much attention until the last hour or even worse the last half hour!

Then guess what? I’ve been on my feet for hours and and looking forward to the end vs. The crowd suddenly doesn’t want anything of the sort! Sometimes they are able to pay me to go on for extra time and I have to take a deep breath and psych myelf up again, but more often than not the staff at the venue are also anxious to get away and the owner is thinking of the neighbours and his licence restrictions. The bolder and sometimes more drunk members of the party are insisting on one more song after one more song (even after the encore) and I am having to be a kill joy and refuse! Not a role that I relish, being who and what I am..

So here’s the other side of the coin: This usually happens when it a dinner dance or wedding and the dinner part runs hopelessly over time. I get a 3 hour window or maybe a 2 hour wondow to get everyone up and dancing their arses off. Attention becomes much more focused on both sides. I have to fill the floor from the get go and the crowd can’t spend hours and hours wasting time outside sitting about by the waterfall/walking to the car/hanging out in their bedroom/smoking/having sex in the toilets/fighting/taking drugs/insert your activity here… What they do is stick around and get their request in before it’s all over! And the result? Full floor from start to finish. Tonnes more atmosphere, Better sounding compact performance with no time for long introspective musical journeys for me or a small clique of guests ie: There is no time to play those tracks which empty the floor for the sake of one or two people.

I don’t know if it will ever happen this way as I’m just one bloke and this system is ingrained now for better or worse. What I am saying is that quality beats the hell out of quantity everytime and you being the booker have the power to change it to just that. Remember that timeless saying in entertainment? “Allways leave them wanting more”.

 

Until next time, all the best,

 

Mike

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